I'm really going to try this time. Promise!

I can't believe I've neglected my poor, innocent blog for the best part of a year! I've decided I need a hobby to fill a void in my meaningless life and to hopefully make me a bit happier. And really, this (cooking, taking photos, writing) is one of the very few things I enjoy in life. So back to blogging it is! Then there's also my ill-formed plan to start a fatshion blog, but that's a story for another day - or never, as I am spectacularly brilliant at procrastination and avoiding things.

Anyway, before I babble on for much longer, I present you (you as in... god knows who. I occupy a lonely, tiny corner of cyberspace) with a meager offering of scones that I threw together tonight to liven up the prospect of leek and potato soup. Bacon, spring onion and cheddar scones though! But they're still just scones, I know... I promise I'll come back with something more adventurous. Maybe. No. DEFINITELY.

Cheddar, spring onions, crispy bacon. I somehow managed not to eat this awesome concoction by the spoonful. What's wrong with me?

You know the drill. Rub butter into flour. Moisten with enough liquid to create a crumbly dough. Bake. I don't use eggs in my scones, and have even used purely water as the liquid when I've run out of milk. I grate butter straight into the pile of flour, it's so much easier than rubbing it in if you're in a rush (this was a weeknight dinner and there was a hungry, grumpy five year old bugging me). Scones need a hot oven, gas mark 6 - none of this weak-ass gas mark 4 required for dainty cakes. They can be cut individually into rounds or just formed into a rough circle and cut nearly all the way through into trianges before baking.

Sorry about the vaguely sweaty appearance. I totally forgot to take a photo and they
had been in the oven for a few seconds.

Please, please do not forget to slather generously with butter. It's amazing. It's magical. No margarine or 'healthy' alternative can replace it. Have these scones, made with butter and cheese and crispy bacon and topped with more butter, once every so often. Totally worth it.


Oh and I forgot to mention, don't be like me. I didn't use a recipe, I chucked things into a bowl and hoped for the best. If you do them by the book and cut them neatly into rounds they should get a higher rise.

Banana & pecan flapjacks.

Banana, pecan and blueberry flapjacks to be precise.
Although, I actually only added the blueberries because they had to be used up - the result wasn't disastrous, but it did distract you slightly from the harmonious pairing that is banana and pecan.
Still, flapjacks are flapjacks and everyone ate them with gusto regardless of any intruding berries.

I've only made these twice, and both times I made them by melting sugar and butter together in a pot, adding the squished bananas and pecans, and stirring in the oats with a good pinch of salt. This is imperative, becaause otherwise they would be too cloying and sweet. A quick taste and a prod and you'll know whether it needs more of anything. Then bung it in the oven until it's golden brown. Great for breakfast, packed lunches (they're back in fashion now, right? Recession chic and all that) or to have with a cup of tea in the afternoon if you are so inclined.

The lure of the flapjack is that you feel as if you are eating something very healthy indeed. It seems rather angelic on the surface - lovely nutritious and invigorating oats, fruit and nuts. The food equivalent of taking a bracing walk through the countryside. The food equivalent of a guy with a beard wearing a colourful knitted jumper. Of course, the only reason that they're so moreish is not because of the health benefits, but more to do with all that delicious sugar and butter. Hurrah!

Bread.

Back from Turkey, sporting some ludicrous tan lines. The worst came from the fact that I was constantly wearing leggings (don't ask), so my legs are ridiculously pale and my feet are beautifully bronzed. How are your holidays coming along?

A while back I had mentioned that I hadn't baked a loaf of bread in all my seventeen years. This fact was unbearable to me so I decided to start making my own bread immediately.

Wanting to take things easy for the first couple of attempts, I decided on a no-knead recipe (the laptop is broken so I've lost the link but I'll try and track it down somehow). Suffice to say, I'm utterly hooked. There is now a permanent, on-going bowl of dough in the fridge just begging to be baked at any given moment. Basically, you chuck together a basic dough (something along the lines of 6 cups of flour, 3 cups of water, 3 tsps of yeast and 3tsps of salt, but don't hold me to it), leave it to rise, then stick it in the fridge for up to a week until you fancy bunging it in the oven. The bread itself is very airy and chewy, with a lovely dark crust. When it gets a bit stale after a few days - if it lasts that long - it makes brilliant toast.

Since there's no kneading involved, the dough is very wet and incredibly hard to handle. Eventually though, after much wrestling with a ball of gloop that loves adhering to your fingers, you will manage to get it onto the tray. I dust mine with flour or semolina usually, but always find that I have to chisel and prise the finished product off the metal. Therefore, I find baking parchment to be the best option.

One day I was feeling particularly energetic so decided to do a bit of kneading. Same formulation, very different dough. Much easier to handle, and of course the baked loaf was different in texture - softer and with less big air bubbles in it.




There were also some experiments with a brown loaf.



And, everyone's favourite, an olive and chilli bread. This particular loaf was gone by the time I woke up the next morning.


Bread machines: Just Say No!

Dan Leperd's 'simple milk loaf'.

As you can most certainly tell by now, 11:00pm is my favourite time to be baking.
The house is quiet and I'm always effortlessly calm.
Tonight I chose to do a plain white bread, and went with Dan Leperd's milk loaf because he is simply quite brilliant and his recipes are among the few that I trust.
The technique is really interesting - usually the wet ingredients are added to the dry, but in his you whisk together milk, yeast and golden syrup, and then add the flour and salt. To make things even weirder, you knead in the fat after forming the dough. Then there's also the fact that you knead it FOUR times (leave for 10 minutes, knead for 10 seconds, repeat).
Clearly, it was worth it - the raw dough looked absolutely gorgeous, and the finished product was outstanding.
So, it seems that trust remains unsullied.
This bread is truly delicious, and isn't at all leaden or tough like I feared homemade bread would be. It has a lovely dark crust and a pillow-soft, fluffy inside.
The only instruction I didn't quite get the point of was to split the dough in two before placing in the tin. Why? It looked a bit weird, kind of like a seam. Frankenstein's (bread) monster:


Sorry about the fuzziness, it was obviously rather dark so the shutter was really slow. I absolutely refuse to use flash - I hate the way the light looks harsh and flat. I did try out a flash diffuser a few times, and although there was a difference, it was only a slight one.



So, simple it is not.
Was it worth spending 3 hours of my life on?
100%, definitely, absolutely yes!

Challah-like bread pt. 2 - (slightly) better photos.

I wasn't satisfied with the previous photos of my first loaf of bread.
So here are some new ones.*
Isn't this your lucky day?
(Hah.)



Yet again my braiding is an epic fail, but the texture of this loaf is actually better than the last.
It looks a little dark because it's currently 2:39am. I felt slightly sick so went to bed at 5:00pm, woke up at 9:00pm, and now can't get to sleep again.
There's nothing like a little thereputic late night baking, so hopefully it will aid me in losing conciousness.




*I know, I know, they still really suck. It is, however, far too late at night/early in the morning to be worrying about artistic merit or even whether the photo is in focus or not.

More late night baking & something vaguely challah-like.

I can't believe I have never baked a loaf of bread.
Not once.

Sibling no.2 has a ballet exam tomorrow and will be dancing all day so I thought I would make her something sustaining for breakfast tomorrow. Hence the fact that I am awake at 1:30am, glazing a loaf with egg before it goes in the oven. I am attempting to make challah - it's always seemed so tempting, but one of those things that I never really thought to make at home. After much researching, I decided all the recipes online differed too much from each other. Not knowing which one to pick, I cobbled together my own:

Ingredients:
5 cups of plain flour, plus extra for kneading
1 & 1/4 cup lukewarm water
5g of dried yeast
1/4 cup granulated sugar
3 medium eggs, beaten
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons salt
poppy seeds



How to do it:
Preheat oven to 350°F/gas 4
1. Combine the yeast, sugar, honey and a 1/4 cup of water and leave for a few minutes until frothy.
2. In a large bowl mix the flour, salt and poppy seeds.
3. Into the flour add the oil, yeast mixture, cup of water and 3/4 of the egg.
4. Combine and knead on a floured surface, adding flour gradually until the dough is smooth and elastic.
5. Put dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with a teatowel and leave for an hour or until doubled in size.
6. Split dough into three equal parts, and roll these parts into long snakes.
7. Lay the three parts alongside each other and press their ends together. Braid the dough and press the other ends together.
8. Place on a floured baking sheet, cover again with the teatowel and leave to rise for 45 minutes.
9. Using the remaining egg, glaze and scatter more poppy seeds on top if you want.
10. Bake until golden brown.

Makes one very large loaf.



You can see from the rather poor quality photo (sorry about that - the good camera is off to England along with half the family), I wasn't too great with the braiding. I am far too impatient. It didn't really matter in the end though - what a handsome loaf! And, wow, did it grow - as you can see, it rivals a cast-iron Le Creuset pot in size. I'm very pleased with my first attempt at bread.

Right, I'm going to sleep!

P.S. I have no idea how traditional my recipe is. All the recipes I came across stipulated using sesame/poppy seeds on the top of the loaf, whereas I put them through the dough too (I am a poppy seed fiend). I am certainly no expert, and haven't even eaten challah before. So this is most likely not the real deal. You have been warned!